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Glad you found this forum, and are sharing your experiences.
I totally agree with you about well-meaning friends saying “be positive,” when we know there is no amount of positivity that will reverse or ameliorate our respective conditions. But that’s what friends are supposed to do: try to make us feel better. That they are there is a good thing, though, and for that we should be grateful.
If you enjoy reading, here are some authors whose works are real page turners, and have helped me enormously to escape: Ken Follett. Nelson de Mille, Alan Furst.
To this I add be strong, my friend.